


Moonlight In Her Hands

by JasmineTeaLatte



Series: Gifts the Moonlight Gave Us [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Ember Island (Avatar), Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hopeful Ending, Inspired by Music, Porn With Plot, Sozin's Comet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:07:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26785657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JasmineTeaLatte/pseuds/JasmineTeaLatte
Summary: Only a few days remain until the arrival of Sozin's Comet, and the Gaang settles in for one last night at the Ember Island beach house. But Katara has too many things weighing on her mind to fall asleep just yet. Instead, she sneaks out of bed and discovers she’s not the only one made restless by the soft glow of the moonlight...Set during "Sozin's Comet: The Phoenix King" but takes a hard non-canon swerve.
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Gifts the Moonlight Gave Us [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1971925
Comments: 54
Kudos: 328





	1. Firelight

_I never knew_  
_You could hold moonlight in your hands_  
_'Til the night I held you..._

Moonlight - Ariana Grande

* * *

An hour or so had passed since she had gone to bed, based on the position of the moon in the sky, and Katara was still wide awake.

No matter how she tossed or turned, or how many or how few blankets she snuggled underneath, sleep seemed determined to evade her tonight.

Was it because of what would happen in a few days? Maybe. She had felt confident enough during their training exercise earlier that afternoon, but Aang’s hesitancy to take out the Fire Lord (or rather, Melon Lord) cast everything into doubt.

Then Aang had stormed off during supper later that night following an argument between him and the rest of their gang regarding the morality of killing Ozai, and she hadn’t seen him since.

Once again, he avoided his problems and walked away like he always did, and it was only thanks to Zuko’s warm, reassuring hand on her shoulder that she hadn’t chased after him.

She admired and respected her friend - who was just that, nothing more, _thank you -_ she really and truly did. These days, however, she found herself growing more easily frustrated by the Avatar's flighty nature. She hoped Zuko was right, and all he needed was some space.

Then hopefully all would be well by morning when they left.

Katara also wondered if her celestial body’s brightness could be the cause of her insomnia, but even after she closed all of the curtains she still found herself wide-eyed and staring into the darkness.

So after either hours or minutes, she wasn’t entirely sure which, she finally gave up and threw them open, letting the pale blue light wash over her and the rest of her bedroom. She closed her eyes and smiled, feeling the moon’s influence calling out to her like a siren's sweet serenade.

Katara knew she should probably find some way to fall asleep, the sooner the better, but instead she opted to slip a thin robe on over her nightgown and tiptoe out of her bedroom.

Maybe there would be a special blend of tea in the kitchens she could brew that would help her doze off.

She had heard countless praises of General Iroh's famous brews, and Zuko had mentioned that his uncle used to visit the beach house many years ago as well.

That explained the wide assortment of blends still in stock - there was everything from jasmine to ginseng to licorice root to oolong to lychee.

She thought she even saw a packet or two of the kind that could be used as a contraceptive, like silphium. But she wasn't entirely sure, and it's not like she was going to use it, after all.

Suki and her brother, on the other hand... _ugh_. Something told Katara that her friend had probably already gone through that particular blend since their arrival at the beach house, but she would rather not dwell on that mental image...

~*~*~

It was almost funny, she thought to herself as she delicately tiptoed across the creaky wooden floors of the upstairs hallway. When Zuko first suggested they take up residence at his family’s old beach house on Ember Island, she’d been highly skeptical.

But over the last few months, she came to think of it more like a _home_ for all of them. A place where an Avatar, two siblings from the Southern Water Tribe, a runaway from one of the Earth Kingdom’s richest families, a Kyoshi warrior, and a self-exiled Fire Prince could almost call their own.

Technically, out of all of them it made the most sense for Zuko to feel at home, since he’d spent many summers here in his younger years, but the sentiment still remained.

Of all places for them to take up residence in the months before Sozin’s Comet, she never would have pictured them hiding out at the house where the Fire Lord’s family used to vacation at. Yet here they were, and tomorrow they would finally leave it to confront their destinies. 

She was going to miss staying here, she thought to herself as she rounded a corner in the darkness, careful to avoid that one particular wooden plank on the floor that squeaked loudly enough to echo throughout the entire house.

While it was nothing like her own home, all of the reds and golds had started to grow on her, and she had eventually acclimated to the humidity that made her hair curl something fierce.

She couldn’t wait to return to the cold, snowy tundra where she grew up, but against all odds, living in the Fire Nation had actually become tolerable, if not somewhat pleasant.

It was a crazy thought, but maybe if they won, somehow, someday, perhaps they could come back and visit – _oof_.

Katara had been so lost in her thoughts, not to mention carefully trying to navigate her way downstairs in absolute silence, that she hadn’t even noticed the prince until both collided with each other in the darkness.

Immediately he jumped back, startled, but once he saw her face illuminated by the small flame that sprang to life in the palm of his outstretched hand, he visibly relaxed and actually smiled.

“Sorry,” they mouthed to each other, the faintest blushes on their cheeks.

Once Zuko had finally stopped scowling all of the time and his moods lightened considerably, he had a rather charming smile, she thought. His eyes would also crinkle up whenever he was particularly amused or happy, just like they were at this moment.

If you had told Katara back when they first met that she would eventually find the Fire Prince’s smiles endearing (not to mention cute, _Tui and La_ , where had _that_ come from?) she would have thought you were insane. 

Yet here she was, blinking and squinting at the sudden appearance of the firelight where there had been darkness just moments ago, trying to calm the fluttering in her stomach that she got whenever she saw Zuko these days.

“Hey.”

His quiet, raspy voice sent a shiver down her spine, and she just barely stopped herself from trembling like a silly girl.

“Hi,” she squeaked out.

She was tempted to slap her forehead. Could she sound any shyer or more like a lovestruck fool? _Ugh_. Stupid, tall, handsome boys with their roguish smiles that sent a rush of warmth between her legs...

Apparently they were her one weakness besides her overly trusting nature, and if he only knew the effect he had on her...

His golden eyes seemed brighter somehow in the dark, although it might have been because of the matching flame in his hand that made them flicker like candlelight on water.

“Can’t sleep?” he whispered in a voice she barely heard, and she shook her head. “Me either. Were you going somewhere, or…?”

He trailed off as she shrugged her shoulders.

“Not really,” she whispered back, suddenly deciding she would rather not drift off to sleep just yet. “You?”

He also shook his head.

“Want company?” he asked, and she nodded. “Follow me, then.”

He led them through the dark hallways in absolute silence that seemed almost supernatural, likely due to years of experience.

She was tempted to reach out and take his fingertips in hers as they walked but ultimately decided not to, although theirs brushed against each other once or twice.

~*~*~

They settled down on the steps of the courtyard, leaning back on their palms as they looked up at the night sky, listening to the water bubbling in the fountain in the center of the tiles.

The stars weren’t as visible here as down on the beach, but it was still a captivating sight. The fires in the lanterns were dying down yet still cast a faint warm glow around them that steadily grew dimmer as the oil burned out.

Neither said anything for a while, instead watching the fireflies twinkling off in the distance as well. A few floated up towards them, and when one got close enough, Zuko reached out and caught it.

He cupped his hands together, careful not to squash it as the tiny yellow light flashed through the cracks, and he held them out towards her.

“Want to hold it?” he asked.

She wrinkled her nose slightly.

“Thanks, but I’ll pass,” she said. “They’re pretty, but I _really_ don’t like bugs.”

He tilted his head.

“Really? I never would have pegged you as the scared type.”

“I’m not scared, I’m squeamish,” she insisted. “There’s a difference.”

“I’ve personally witnessed you skin animals and gut fish, and you’re grossed out by a tiny bug?” he asked, grinning. “Come on, Katara, it’s a harmless little firefly. It’s not going to hurt you. I used to catch them all the time as a kid.”

She rolled her eyes.

“That’s because you’re a _boy_ ,” she countered.

“I’m nineteen, actually,” he interjected. 

“You know what I meant,” she said. “Besides, one time when we were camping out in the Earth Kingdom, Sokka and Toph left a huge bug in my sleeping bag, which I didn’t find until I was already tucked in. It was so, so gross. Ugh!”

She shuddered to emphasize her point as he watched her in amusement.

“Was it a beetle or a millipede or… well, I guess that’s not important,” he said, wisely deciding not to continue when he saw her glaring at him. “Look, fireflies aren’t like that. They’re tiny and they tickle your hands when you hold them, but that’s it.”

He again offered it to her, and once more she declined. So he shrugged and opened his palms, and it flew off into the night sky.

A few minutes later, another one floated nearby and he carefully caught it as well. Once again he offered to let her hold it, but this time she scooted away.

“Katara, it’s not going to hurt you,” he chided.

Then his features softened, and he spoke his next words in a gentle voice she had never heard him use before.

“I promise, I won’t let anything hurt you. Do you trust me?”

She looked at him in surprise. Where had that tenderness come from?

 _He almost sounds like he…_ but she quickly dashed that line of thinking. Surely it was her sleepy mind playing tricks on her. _  
_

Before she realized entirely what she was doing, though, she nodded and held out her hands. He gave her an encouraging smile and his warm fingers brushed up against hers.

“That’s it,” he breathed, nodding. “Now cup your hands together like that – there you go…”

She closed her eyes and let out a little squeal when she felt it flittering around and landing on one of her palms.

“Shh!” he hissed, but it wasn’t harsh - if anything, he sounded like he was about to laugh. “Do you want to wake everyone else up?”

She shook her head, eyes clenched shut as she bit back another squeal.

“Open your eyes, Katara,” he whispered, and she did.

She glanced over at him first, and he gave her one of those charming smiles that made her melt inside. He nodded at her in encouragement and gestured towards her hands, and she finally looked down.

The firefly had settled down and was flashing slowly and steadily now, its warm glow shining between her fingertips.

“See? That’s not so bad, is it?” he asked.

She shook her head, warily holding her cupped hands up near her face so she could peek inside.

“I guess not,” she admitted, lowering them just in case it somehow escaped.

The last thing she needed was to embarrass herself in front of him by screeching.

“Even though you haven't had good experiences with them in the past, not all them are bad,” he continued. “Some are like this firefly, and once you give them a chance you might find you actually like them... or not. You never know unless you try, I guess.”

There was something in his voice that gave her pause, but when she looked back at him, his facial expression was neutral, if not content. She thought she saw something flash in his eyes, but it was gone instantly.

“It’s nice,” she admitted, biting back another squeal when it flittered around in her palms again. “But it tickles! Can I let it go now?”

He nodded, and she opened her hands. It didn’t take off immediately, instead crawling up to her thumb. It blinked a few times, almost as if it were trying to bid them farewell, before it flew away.

“I never saw fireflies until I left the South Pole,” she said as they watched it rejoin the others twinkling in the dim light. “Wonder why they glow?”

He shrugged.

“I’m not sure, but I remember my mom used to tell me that whenever they were flashing, they were either trying to find their friends or a mate,” he said quietly. “That’s why I don’t trap them for long, so they don't get left behind and can find their way back.”

She nodded and summoned over water from the fountain to rinse their hands off, discarding it afterwards.

He waited until she was finished before he spoke again.

“You know, when I was really little, before I could create fire, I used to catch them at night and pretend their light was a little tiny flame in my hands,” he recalled with a grin. "Then I finally learned how to bend, and I haven't caught any since then."

She smiled at him and scooted over until she was close enough to lean her head on his shoulder. Which she did, to the surprise of them both.

“Thank you for sharing that with me, Zuko,” she whispered. “That was really sweet.”

The prince hadn’t moved once she touched him, but he now cautiously wrapped his arm around her back, letting his warm hand rest on her arm. He murmured something that she couldn’t quite make out, but it sounded like _anything for you, Katara_.

She wasn’t entirely sure, though, but she snuggled up against his side regardless and let out a sigh of contentment. She also noted that the lanterns surrounding them seemed to glow a bit brighter the closer she got to him.

But her eyes were starting to grow heavier, so it was probably exhaustion playing tricks on her again.

~*~*~

Katara woke with a start to Zuko lightly nudging her with his shoulder.

“Hey,” he said gently. “You dozed off on me for a bit there. Not that I mind, but you might be more comfortable in your own bed.”

She nodded and yawned, and he helped her stand up before guiding her back inside. Katara found herself leaning into him as she walked, though, and she could barely keep her eyes open.

He chuckled, and as she was currently pressed up against his side, it seemed to rumble through her own body.

Then he seemed to have an epiphany, and her eyes widened for a moment and she let out a squeak when she found herself being scooped up into his arms.

“Easy there,” he whispered. “Just thought this might be easier than you stumbling around half-asleep.”

That made entirely too much sense, she thought, and she nodded in agreement before resting her head against his shoulder.

~*~*~

When she opened her eyes again, she was being carefully laid down in her bed, and he was turning to leave.

“Will you stay with me the rest of the night?” she whispered, and he paused in the doorway, his back to her.

He seemed unsure of himself when he finally turned around.

“Why would you ask that?”

She sat up and blinked at him in dull surprise. Wasn’t it obvious?

Any other time she would have been tactful or answered cautiously, but sleepiness has a way of removing one’s filter altogether, after all.

“Because I really like you, and I… well, I thought you liked me back, but I guess I was wrong,” she mumbled, her cheeks hot.

His eyes widened and his jaw dropped slightly, and she immediately felt foolish.

“Sorry, you can just forget I said anything-” she stammered.

“I do,” he interrupted softly. “Like you too, that is.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

He rubbed the back of his neck almost sheepishly, and Katara could practically hear both of their hearts pounding in the long silence that followed.

After what seemed like an eternity, Zuko gave her a nervous smile as he crept silently across the wooden floor until he was back at her bedside and cautiously sat down on the edge.

His cheeks were flushed as well, which seemed to contrast sharper than usual against his pale skin, which practically glowed in the moonlight.

“I just didn’t realize…” he began before swallowing loudly. “I assumed it was all me. How… how long have you…?”

Oh, he was so adorable whenever he was all flustered. She flashed him a smile and bit back a yawn.

They both had impeccably bad timing, Katara thought - of _course_ they would finally admit their feelings in the middle of the night right before the most important days of their lives.

But she didn't really care at the moment just how tired she would be tomorrow.

“The night we got back from the play, a few weeks ago,” she explained. “When we all sat around and talked afterwards.”

Zuko nodded at the memory. They had returned from that awful excuse of a performance in low spirits, until he suggested they build a campfire on the beach.

All six had sat around for a few hours and talked, laughing as they recalled and mocked certain scenes.

Katara had realized while watching him interact with the others that there was something incredibly likeable about him, almost irresistible even.

Something that made her feel perfectly at ease, like she could be herself without worrying about offending him.

Unlike the others, he wasn't afraid or repulsed by her dark side. He hadn't even flinched when she finally explained just how she managed to stop that one soldier with bloodbending, although he did sweat just a bit and seemed determined to stay on her good side from that point onward.

But it wasn’t until she found herself blushing slightly whenever he smiled at her, his eyes crinkling up, and he sent a few secretive winks her way that she understood just how much trouble she actually was in.

It had been gradual up until that point, like the tides slowly changing throughout the day. Then that night on the beach beside the campfire, the full extent of her feelings hit her like a tidal wave, and she hadn’t exactly fought to keep her head above water.

Rather, she had willingly allowed herself to be pulled under by the riptides, and she had been drowning ever since.

“Was that when you realized you liked me too?” she asked, surprised when he shook his head and smiled.

“It was a little before that, actually,” he said, blushing again. “I guess it was around the time we started being friends soon after we arrived here… but in case you were curious, I started secretly admiring you back when you pulverized me at the North Pole.”

She smirked slightly at that.

“Which time? At the Spirit Oasis or out in the snow, when you challenged me but didn’t even last five seconds?”

He sighed in mild exasperation and wiped his hand down his face, although he grinned afterwards.

“The Spirit Oasis fight,” he clarified. “Don’t get me wrong, I was furious at you, too, but deep down I was secretly impressed by how good you had gotten in such a short time. I never would have admitted it back then, though.”

She giggled and reached out, taking his hand in hers and squeezing, and he looked down at them in surprise.

“Stay with me then, Zuko,” she pleaded. “At least until sunrise.”

There was another long silence that was almost unbearable before he finally smiled.

To her relief he nodded, standing up to close and lock the door, and returned to her bedside.

She scooted over to make room for him, and she fought back a shiver as he climbed in under the sheets, despite the heat radiating from his body.

He settled down beside her and she snuggled up against him, resting her head on his shoulder.

“G’night,” she murmured, too drowsy to say a full sentence.

“Sweet dreams, Katara,” he replied, wrapping his arms around her back and gently trailed his fingers through her hair.

Then he left a few small kisses on her head and pulled her in even closer, letting out a sigh of happiness before closing his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally this was going to be a fluffy oneshot and it would end right here, but then I went and wrote another chapter or so and threw in smut for good measure. Because why not? 
> 
> At some point during the night Aang does slip away and ends up with the Lion Turtle, but I maintain that since it was calling only to him, no one else could hear the chanting sounds like depicted in the episode - hence why Zuko and Katara don't notice anything amiss when they're outside. Plus when Aang leaves it’s from the front of the house, and in the show the courtyard area seems to be located somewhere on the back. 
> 
> Final note - I don't remember if Katara is squicked out by bugs or not in canon, but for the purpose of this fic I'm pretending she is. Also yes, Zuko was using her initial dislike of getting close to the fireflies as an analogy of sorts for her feelings towards the people of the Fire Nation in general, especially him. (At first she despised them altogether, then she realized they weren't all bad, and so on.) Then there's the line about them giving off light to find companions or a mate, and how he eventually found his way to their group...
> 
> ...because literary devices and all that jazz. But enough about that, on to the good stuff!


	2. Moonlight

_I think I might've inhaled you_   
_I can feel you behind my eyes_   
_You've gotten into my bloodstream_   
_I can feel you flowing in me_

Bloodstream - Stateless

* * *

Katara debated on her next actions as she rested her head on his shoulder, gradually syncing the rhythm of their breathing together. 

Ultimately she decided to be brave, just like she'd been when she earned her mark so many moons ago. So she sat up and leaned over, planting a soft, chaste kiss on his lips just like she’d wanted to for some weeks now.

And _oh_ , they were just as warm and soft as she’d imagined they would be.

When she pulled away he was gazing up at her through half-lidded eyes that shone with pure adoration. He traced her face with his fingertips for a moment before he guided her face back down towards his, and their lips met again.

This time her mouth opened slightly and she nipped at his bottom lip, which he didn’t seem to mind. He just grinned and deepened the kiss, pulling her even closer to him.

 _So much for sleep_ , she thought to herself, although she really didn’t care anymore just how tired she would be in the morning.

She felt another rush of courage and ventured lower, planting kisses all around his jaw and neck.

Soon she discovered a place near the base of his throat that seemed especially sensitive, so she paid special attention to that area until he was practically _whining_.

Katara couldn’t help herself, and she giggled at his reaction.

His eyes flew open, and they narrowed as they fixed on her with a look she recognized all too well. It was the same expression he made whenever he was about to challenge someone.

“Oh, you think that’s funny?” he asked, the corners of his lips tugging upwards.

He rolled them over, only partially covering her body with his, and she gasped in spite of her best efforts as he quickly returned the favor, his lips hot yet comforting against her skin.

Then he brought out his teeth, delicately nipping around her neck down to her collarbone, and she knew she truly was in trouble.

Her hands tangled up in his hair, and she found herself whimpering as well. He chuckled with his mouth pressed against her throat, sending vibrations rumbling throughout her body and a new rush of warmth between her legs.

Perhaps it was the moonlight’s influence or the realization that she was completely at his mercy like this, but she suddenly had a crazy idea.

Before she could lose her nerve, she adjusted herself underneath him and settled his body between her thighs, intertwining her legs with his.

He paused, tilting his head back as he let out a hot wisp of smoke in the space over her head.

“Katara,” he rasped out, and she’d never heard him sound quite like _that_ before. “Have you… are you…?”

His cheeks were flushed once more, which she found absolutely endearing. She smiled up at him in reassurance.

“Sorry, what was that?” she asked a bit too innocently as she slowly rocked her hips upwards.

The alignment was a bit off, so she met his lower abdomen instead of her intended target, but it still produced the desired effect.

Zuko squeezed his eyes closed and let out another wisp above her, and this one had tiny flames accompanying it. He glanced back down, noticing the smirk growing on her face, and responded with one of his own.

“You’re torturing me,” he groaned as she rocked up again, this time meeting him in exactly the right spot. “You little-”

“Peasant?” she finished, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh no, no, of course not,” he protested weakly, closing his eyes and ducking his head as she built up a steady rhythm beneath him. “I was going to say seductress, minx, temptress, whatever nickname you wanted.”

She was tempted to suggest “goddess divine” but thought that might be a bit too ridiculous, although something told her Zuko would happily call her that if she asked.

“You've called me a peasant before, though,” she teased.

“I'm so sorry, I was an idiot back then, and you’re _definitely_ punishing me for it now,” he gritted out, eyes still squeezed shut. “I’d say we’re even.”

“How about we’re even when _I_ say we’re even?”

His eyes flew open at that, and he grinned down at her in the darkness.

“As you wish,” he breathed, leaning down to capture her lips with his once more before pulling back. “But what I was trying to ask earlier before someone distracted me-”

“That was because you were stammering and nervous,” she interrupted demurely, yelping slightly as he nipped her neck in retaliation.

He shushed her, which just caused her to giggle instead.

“Will you let me finish?” he scolded, but his tone was too light to be taken seriously.

She felt her cheeks burning as she pulled him closer and peppered kisses along his throat. 

“I plan to, if I have my way,” she whispered, hoping she sounded confident enough.

Apparently she did, and his eyes widened and his jaw dropped, and she giggled again at his stunned reaction. It seemed like eternity before he spoke again.

“Are you sure?”

His relief when she nodded immediately was evident even in the dim light.

“Have you ever…?”

This time he frowned slightly when she shook her head.

“I’ve done some things,” she admitted, “but not all of it. Not the, um, main event.”

She’d gotten very cozy when they met and stayed with Jet, back when she’d been younger and far more easily infatuated by sweet talk.

While she had done some things she now regretted (at least the fact that she’d done them with _him_ , not in general), she was relieved she’d saved that, especially after Jet had shown his true colors.

Fortunately, Zuko didn’t pry (although he had to suspect who it had been with, thanks to that stupid play), but he looked no less concerned.

“Are you sure?” he asked again quietly. “I just don’t want you to do something you’ll regret later. You can always back out if you want, I won’t be mad.”

Katara smiled up at him again and rested her palm against his scarred cheek.

“I’m positive,” she whispered, even as her heart pounded.

His golden eyes seemed to pierce her blue ones for what seemed like a lifetime. Normally she would have felt anxious under the intensity of his gaze, but she just matched it with one of her own.

A thought occurred to her then.

“Have _you_ ever -?”

“Oh, yeah, a few times actually,” he said hurriedly, cutting her off. 

The tone of his voice sounded almost wistful, though, which made Katara frown slightly. He noticed the look on her face and sighed.

“It was the same girl, and we were both each other’s firsts,” he explained. “For what it’s worth, I really cared about her at the time, and she was the one who instigated it in the first place. It’s just… that was a few days before the invasion, and since I didn’t want to drag her into everything, I kinda dumped her the day I ran away…”

She was aware that he and Mai had been an item before he changed sides, and it only made sense that they would have gotten close. Katara knew it was petty, but she still didn't like picturing them together, especially like that.

“…through a letter.”

 _Ouch,_ she thought, wincing. Well, that was harsh. _  
_

He grimaced when he saw her reaction and sat back on his knees, running his hand absentmindedly through his hair and ruffling it up just a bit.

“Not my proudest moment,” he said, glancing down. “Well, it’s one of several things I’m not proud of, actually.”

Katara sat up as well, unsure of what to say. So she said the first thing that popped into her mind.

“If this is your idea of bedroom talk, I’ve gotta say, Zuko, it’s going to need some work.”

He scowled at her slightly before sighing in defeat and nodding. His lips twitched and his gaze lowered to the space between them on the bed.

“I was teasing and trying to lighten the mood,” she said softly. “But that was clearly the wrong thing to say at the wrong time. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he said glumly. “I’ve still got a lot to make up for, but… I just didn’t want to make that mistake again, especially not if you’d be the one getting hurt.”

She leaned forward, propping herself up on her palms, planting a soft, slow kiss on his scarred cheek, to his astonishment.

Then her lips moved to the other before they met his once more.

~*~*~

After a moment of uncertainty, he kissed her back, almost reluctantly, before he pulled away.

“Katara… I don’t know what’s going to happen in a few days.”

“Neither do I.”

“I don’t know if we’ll be able to defeat my father or if we’ll even survive the encounter. We could get killed in the process or worse, if we lose.”

“I’m aware.”

“Even if we win, there’s no guarantee we’ll be able to stay together afterwards. We might have to go our separate ways and never see each other again.”

“I know.”

He paused, letting out a long sigh.

“And you realize that tonight could be just a one-time thing? That I can’t make you any promises or vows, even though I - you’re okay with that?” 

_Even though you what?_

She wanted to ask him what he meant by that, suddenly feeling the heat of his gaze boring down into her soul.

“I’m… well no,” she stammered. “But let’s say we win and both of us survive and we never see each other again. I don’t want any regrets when I look back on my life… especially not with you.”

He didn’t say anything, so she continued.

“I know what’s at stake, Zuko, and I’m not scared,” she said, sitting back on her knees and taking his hands in hers. “Well, I am a little, but I’d be stupid not to be, right?”

She brought one of his hands up to her mouth and daintily kissed each of his knuckles. Then her lips journeyed over to his fingertips and all over his palm, planting one last kiss on the back of his hand before repeating her actions on his other one.

His eyes seemed to glow as moonlight reflected off of them in the dark as he studied her intently. They almost reminded her of a dragon’s, which he no doubt would have found amusing under different circumstances. It didn’t seem like the right time to tell him, though.

“I know what’s at stake,” she repeated once she finished her ministrations, “for both us and the fate of the world, and I can only imagine what would happen if we lost. But I care about you, and even if these weren’t possibly our last days, I’d still want to be with you. I’m not scared of getting hurt.”

“I am,” he said quietly. “Scared of you getting hurt, that is.”

She shook her head and smiled half-heartedly.

“Let me worry about that, okay? I’m a big girl, and you already have enough to stress about as it is.”

Katara leaned over again and kissed his scarred cheek.

“But look, it’s getting late and we both need to rest up,” she said, brushing a strand of hair out of his face. “I want you to stay, but if you don’t want to, if you’d rather leave-”

He cut her off, his mouth crashing against hers as his hands snaked around her waist and pulled her closer to him until they were both on their knees.

Katara was stunned for just a moment before she responded, kissing him back just as feverishly. She tangled her fingers in his hair and tugged, which earned her a light growl from him. 

Fascinated, she did it again and found herself on her back, his warm body pinning her down and her legs wrapped around his waist. He aligned his hips up with hers and slowly, almost cautiously rocked against her a few times.

Immediately she pulled his chest down flush against hers, and his hands cradled her head. His eyes met hers, searching for permission to do so again, and she smiled, pushing herself up to meet him.

He ducked his head and let out a few hot breaths as she continued a few more times.

“Are you absolutely sure you want-”

“ _Yes_ , Zuko, but I’m starting to wonder if you – oh.”

 _Oh_.

Such a small, insignificant word, yet that was the only one she was capable of saying – gasping, rather – as his hand slid downward and palmed against the fabric between her thighs.

She spread them to grant him easier access and bit her bottom lip, trying to hold back a moan as his warm fingers pressed down, finding the dip above her center through the cloth barrier.

He circled the edge a few times and pressed the heel of his palm against it, and her hips followed the movement of his hand once he started to rock her.

“How’s that?” he asked softly after a few minutes.

She just nodded and whimpered in spite of herself.

“Harder,” she whispered, clutching at the bedsheets beside her head. “Faster.”

He swore under his breath and immediately did as she asked (technically begged, but who was keeping score?) until her soft cries started to grow louder.

Then his lips crashed into hers again to muffle the sound, cradling her head with his free hand, and soon his kisses matched the rhythm of his hand against her.

Eventually he paused, much to her displeasure, but it was to slip off his robe and pants, and she immediately followed suit with her own robe and nightgown. His eyes widened when only her lower bindings remained, and he took a deep breath as if to steady himself.

Her heart was pounding now, but she somehow managed to smirk. To her amusement, she noticed his cheeks turned pink once he saw her breasts and he hadn’t stopped staring since.

She lightly poked his arm and he snapped out of his daze, grinning in mild embarrassment when he realized he'd been caught and shrugged.

"Can you blame me?" he asked, and she supposed she couldn't.

Especially not once his warm hands settled on them and teased her delicate skin until the only respite was his mouth.

Her fingers weaved through his messy black hair, cradling his head as he latched on to her, not letting go until she was gasping his name.

~*~*~

Once he finished his ministrations on her other breast as well, he paused to sprinkle kisses along her collarbone and up her throat until he reached her mouth.

She pulled him in closer, wrapping her legs around his waist again and rolled her hips upwards to meet his.

“Katara.”

Something had awakened in her, and she was growing desperate to see it through to the end. She continued writhing beneath him, almost as if in a trance.

“ _Katara_.”

He practically growled her name out through gritted teeth, and the groans coming from his lips made her want to abandon all reason and logic altogether.

Her fingers fumbled slightly as they started unwrapping her bindings, and to her relief his hands covered hers and helped slide them down once they were loosened enough.

Then she was completely bare, and at last she felt shy as his eyes roamed over every inch of her almost greedily. His pupils were dilated to the point that little gold remained of his eyes, and she felt herself blushing and rubbing her thighs together under the heat of his gaze.

But she refused to be intimidated, so she tossed her hair over her shoulders and smirked up at him.

“Like what you see?” she teased, even as she wanted to hide her face in embarrassment.

He wordlessly nodded in appreciation and distractedly palmed against the visible bulge in his underclothes.

Then he leaned over and their lips met once more, pulling away to plant kisses along her throat, all over her breasts, then down her stomach, pausing when he reached right below her navel.

“You know what I’m about to do, right?” he asked, his eyes meeting hers.

She gulped as she nodded, trying to appear brave and not suddenly terrified for some reason. He saw right through her, though, and gave her a small, encouraging smile.

“Before, whenever you… did anyone ever…?”

He frowned when she shook her head.

“No… I mean, I did it to him, but he never offered to, and I never asked-”

“Idiot.”

That was the last thing she expected to hear from him at that moment, and she propped herself up on her elbows.

“Excuse me?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Sorry, I meant _he_ was an idiot for not…” Zuko inhaled sharply, as if to steady himself. “Do you know how many times I’ve dreamed about doing this, how badly I’ve wanted to practically every time I see you, how I’ve fantasized about all the ways of making you feel good, and that idiot just laid back and didn’t even…”

He stopped, and he was breathing heavily.

“Do you trust me?” he asked.

His voice was calmer now but no less dangerous, she thought as she nodded. He exhaled slowly, planting kisses below her navel before shimmying down to kneel beside the bed.

He guided her to sit on the edge, and she felt her entire face burning as he opened her legs and settled between them. Her heart seemed to pound against her ribs as he hungrily drank in the sight of her, _all_ of her.

When he did look up and their eyes met, his face seemed to glow with complete reverence and, if she didn’t know any better, she’d even say _love_.

Maybe it was the moonlight playing tricks on her, though. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, kissing along her inner thighs.

She let out a small gasp as his lips grazed her for just a moment, and he chuckled.

“I haven’t even gotten started yet,” he said, winking up at her. “You’re in charge, Katara. What do you want me to do to you?”

Her mind went blank. She had never really envisioned being in this position before, and it had never even seemed like a possibility until now.

“I don’t know,” she admitted shyly. “I guess… what you were saying earlier, about how you’ve pictured yourself doing this to me before. Do whatever you want to me, whatever you’ve dreamed about.”

“If I did that, you’d wake the entire island up screaming out my name,” he said in a low, guttural voice that made her cheeks burn even hotter, and he continued planting kisses closer and closer each time.

Based on the intensity of his gaze, she didn’t doubt it. Her hips had already started to rock towards him with need, and the suspense was starting to kill her.

“Please, Zuko,” she whispered. “Please.”

Thankfully she didn’t have to resort to more outright begging. He positioned her legs atop his shoulders and planted another trail of kisses on her thighs until he reached her core.

He paused just long enough for their eyes to meet before he continued, and she let out a long, soft moan when she felt his lips and tongue caressing her. Then she remembered the need to be as silent as possible and bit her lip as he continued to worship her.

One hand rested on the bed behind her to prop herself up, the other tangled up in his hair and stroked his head in encouragement.

In no time at all her body was trembling, and she fell back against the mattress, holding her pillow over her face in a desperate attempt to stifle her cries.

His warm mouth was relentless, bringing her closer to the edge of something – she wasn’t entirely sure what, but she was desperate to go over – until she was practically gasping out his name.

But he was unforgiving and denied her each time she got close, pausing just long enough to catch his breath before he dove back in, sucking and licking and teasing.

Then she choked back a sob when she felt his tongue and then his fingers inside her, and oh, this was _so_ much better than what she'd imagined late at night when she pictured them together. His fingers were longer and thicker and filled her up better than her own, not to mention so much _warmer_.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she realized her hips were rolling on their own accord, but he met them just as ferociously. At one point he even growled against her, his lips pressed up to her most sensitive parts, and she was rendered speechless - at least until his fingers resumed their delicious torture and pumped inside her. 

Finally he showed her mercy and allowed her to release, curling his fingers, and her body shuddered as she cried out his name, but he didn’t stop – if anything, he continued on, just as determined.

She saw stars explode behind her eyes as she let out a series of frantic “ohs” that grew higher and longer until they reached a crescendo just barely muffled by the pillow.

~*~*~

When she came down from her high at last, she sat back up and pressed her hand over her pounding heart, panting heavily.

He was still kneeling on the floor between her legs, his hair in a complete disarray from where she'd grasped at it, one hand palming himself, and he had the audacity to _wink_ up at her. 

“How was it?” he asked, kissing her inner thigh again.

She couldn’t find the words, much less speak them at the moment, so she just returned his smirk and grabbed his arms, tugging him back up on the bed with her.

Her mouth crashed into his as she pulled him down, and she felt her arousal blooming all over again when she realized she was tasting _herself_ on his lips.

“Don’t look so smug,” she retorted once she finally caught her breath enough to speak. “It’s your turn now, and I’m just as good and merciless as you.”

He closed his eyes and exhaled, grinning as they opened again.

“I don’t doubt it,” he murmured, kissing all around her face. “But I'd rather tonight to be about _you_ and making you feel good. Besides, at this rate I wouldn’t last long.”

She pouted up at him and sighed, blinking her eyes a few times for good measure before she rolled them over and settled beside him. Her hand ventured down the planes of his abdomen, beneath the edge of his pants.

He let out a groan as her fingertips teased him with a few light caresses. Then he gritted his teeth as they wrapped around him completely and caressed up and down, squeezing whenever she reached his tip.

" _Katara_."

There it was again, the strained, desperate voice she pulled from his lips earlier. She just continued stroking and smirked down at him as his face scrunched up in concentration.

"Yes?" she asked coyly, enjoying the way his hips rocked upwards into her palm. 

"That's... you're... I'm so, so close," he whined, his eyes clenched shut. "I don't know if you still wanted to - oh, oh _fuck_ that feels good - but that may not be possible if you keep this up..."

She smirked triumphantly and kissed him deeply as she continued to tease him.

"Told you I was just as merciless as you."

"Believe me, I'm _not_ complaining."

Katara paused for a moment, drawing a whimper from him as his eyes flew open. Her fingertips hooked around the waistband of his pants, and he helped her tug them off.

She took a brief second to admire him - all of him - before she resumed stroking him unhindered.

His breaths were growing shallow now, and he gripped the sheets, barely stifling moans. Then she decided to play the role of temptress that he'd assigned her earlier and took him in her mouth, just long enough to tease him before she pulled away.

He whined and his hips jerked upwards, and a string of "please, Katara, please" escaped from his lips. She just beamed down at him, and his eyes fluttered open as she slowed down.

"I'm... I'm ready whenever you are," she whispered, her heart suddenly in her throat. "But I'm not sure what to do next."

His grin faded as a more serious look overtook his face.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded mutely and smiled.

"I'm scared but... I'm ready," she breathed.

His eyes flickered over her body for a moment.

"Since this is your first time, it's probably going to hurt, at least at the beginning," he admitted. "So you might be more comfortable on top."

She straddled him and scooted up until she was kneeling over him.

"What do I need to do?" she asked, annoyed at herself for the slight tremble in her voice.

He gave her another reassuring smile and sat up, tracing her face with his fingertips.

"Whatever makes you feel good,” he murmured, slowly kissing all around her neck and chest. “You're in charge, Katara."

She bit her lip and nodded, lowering herself until she felt him pressing against her entrance, and he nodded up at her in encouragement. 

”Whenever you’re ready,” he breathed. “Go as slow as you need to, even if it takes all night.”

Katara took a deep breath and closed her eyes for just a moment, summoning all of her bravery before she carefully started to sink down.


	3. Starlight

_Tender is the night, lying by your side  
Tender is the touch of someone that you love too much  
Tender is the day the demons go away  
Lord I need to find someone who can heal my mind  
_

Tender - Blur

* * *

 _Slowly_ , she told herself. She had to do this _slowly_ , or it would hurt too much and they would have to stop.

And somehow, despite the foreign pressure building somewhere deep inside and the dull ache blooming between her thighs, she was tempted to sink all the way down immediately and take him completely.

Her hands rested on his shoulders for support and perhaps courage as she slid down another inch or so, and his grasp on her hips tightened as he released a groan, closing his eyes in pure ecstasy.

Once Zuko regained his composure, he again whispered reassurances up at her about how well she was doing, how divine she felt, and that she could take all the time in the world if she wanted to.

He also gazed up at her in adoration whenever her eyes met his.

“Are… are you doing okay?” she asked him softly, carefully shifting her weight to a slightly more comfortable position.

Zuko just smiled, pulling her face towards his for a long, tender kiss.

“Don’t worry about me,” he murmured. “I feel like I could die of happiness. How are you feeling?”

She winced as she took another inch.

“Sore,” she admitted, “but at the same time I feel like _I’m_ going to die if I don’t get you, all of you, inside of me soon.”

Zuko seemed especially proud upon hearing that and puffed out his chest a little. She rolled her eyes as she could only imagine the swell of masculine pride that admission must have given him.

“Easy there, don’t start acting conceited on me now,” she teased, kissing his cheek. “How much more of, um, _you_ do I have left to go?”

He was entirely too self-satisfied when he informed her, without even looking, that he still had a few more inches left outside.

Fortunately, she knew exactly how to knock that smirk off his face.

She braced herself and, in one swift motion, slid down and took the rest of him, letting out a gasp of pain and maybe even something else.

It was all worth it, though, to see his face contort into a blend of astonishment and rapture, just like she anticipated. What she wasn’t expecting, however, was the low growl he let out and how his eyes widened in surprise.

Then he clung to her so tightly that he almost knocked the air from her lungs as his body shook slightly against hers.

He briefly looked younger than he actually was, almost boyish even, as if he were experiencing something wonderful that he couldn’t handle just yet.

Speaking of things one couldn’t handle just yet…

It was a curious sensation, she thought as she let out a breath to steady her pounding heart. There was soreness but also a strange sense of relief, almost as if she’d been waiting for this exact moment for a long time.

 _So this is what it feels like_.

Pain and pleasure all rolled into one, although the former currently outweighed the latter. Her body shuddered from the ache, and she whimpered.

Immediately he focused all of his attention on her once again, murmuring words of encouragement and affirmation, peppering her neck with kisses until he reached her mouth.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” he whispered against her lips. “How do you feel?”

She couldn’t speak just yet, so she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a long, deep kiss instead.

~*~*~

After, she rested her forehead against his and closed her eyes, panting softly.

“It hurts,” she whispered, deciding to be honest, “but it feels really, really good, too. _You_ feel good.”

She felt him sprinkle more affectionate kisses on her face, her neck, and finally her lips.

“You feel heavenly,” he breathed, and her eyes fluttered open as she smiled down at him.

There was something unreadable in his gaze, though, yet it seemed familiar somehow.

She had seen that same look from him every now and then since he joined their side, and several times throughout the night prior to this moment, actually… oh.

_Oh._

Her heart pounded and her stomach flipped over upon this revelation. They had admitted their feelings for each other earlier, sure, but she hadn’t realized until now just how deep his were.

She didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but she could have sworn what she saw reflecting in his eyes was…

…but that was crazy, right? Almost as crazy as what they were doing at this moment, actually.

She wasn’t quite ready to broach that particular subject just yet though.

“You okay?” she asked softly to distract her racing mind as she peppered kisses all around his face. “I think I left you speechless back there.” 

He nodded, and a look of complete tenderness washed over his features as he continued gazing up at her. When he spoke, his voice seemed hoarser than usual.

“Never been better,” he rasped, gently kissing her neck. “You?”

Katara nodded as well, resting her cheek against his and letting out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.

 _Yes_ , she thought to herself, _he does_.

She was almost certain of it.

Of course he had been hesitant earlier, trying to explain to her that this might be their only chance to be together.

No wonder he had cautioned her not to get her hopes up, especially for promises or vows he might not be able to keep.

Zuko hadn’t just been acting like a gentleman and trying to protect her and her feelings from potentially getting hurt – he was also trying to keep his own heart safe in the process.

Everything he had done _to_ her, _for_ her, and _with_ her tonight hadn’t been purely physical or solely the actions of someone with a crush, were they?

Then again, it all could have been an act just to bed her, but something in her heart assured her that he wouldn’t do that.

The old him might have on his worst day – no, actually, she thought, he wouldn’t have. Jet probably would have tried to trick her like that, but not Zuko.

Not the boy – no, _man_ – clinging to her like she was too good to be true, trembling in spite of himself, as if he couldn’t bear the thought of letting her go even for a moment.

The idea both scared and comforted her, somehow, as she rested her chin on the crook of his neck. One of her hands wrapped around his shoulders; the other cradled the back of his head as her fingers buried themselves in his thick hair.

She wondered if he was having similar thoughts about her, questioning if her feelings for him were the same or as strong as his.

Katara wasn’t entirely sure of that herself.

She wasn’t sure either how much time passed as they held each other, and she shivered despite of the warmth from his hands as they slowly palmed up and down her back, pausing every so often to pull her in even closer.

All she knew at the moment was how safe and comfortable she felt in his embrace and how _right_ this all seemed to be, as if they were always meant to end up in each other’s arms.

For now, this was all she needed or wanted, just the two of them, together.

~*~*~ 

Some minutes later, though, she realized needed _more_.

She gave her hips an experimental rock against his and let out a soft gasp as his fingertips dug into her skin and gripped her tighter.

“Sorry,” he whispered apologetically against her ear. “That felt really, _really_ good.”

Both pulled back just enough so their eyes met, and she noticed something wild brewing in his now. Something dangerous, even.

He had been so calm, so composed as he guided her through everything, and she suddenly wanted to see him lose control.

She wanted to see him come undone, feel his heart racing just as uncontrollably as he made hers earlier; she wanted to hear him desperately try to stifle moans as she mercilessly brought him closer and closer to the edge, just to deny him over and over until she worked him into a frenzy.

So she ground her hips against his once more while latching on to that sweet spot near the base of his throat that made him whine earlier.

This time he growled instead, sending a rush of warmth to her core, and she clenched around him instinctively.

She heard him grit out several profanities through clenched teeth, so she must have done something right.

Encouraged, she rocked against him a bit harder and tried squeezing around him several more times for good measure. _That_ finally drew the whine from his throat she’d been seeking, and she bit back a smirk.

Her triumph was short-lived, though, as she found herself falling forward against his chest when he fell back against the bed.

He seemed far too amused by her look of shock as her hands landed on either side of his head.

“Got you,” he whispered, winking up at her.

She inwardly decided that he needed to be punished for that later, so she just grinned down at him for the time being.

“You sure about that?” she asked innocently, adjusting her position before she rocked their hips together again. “Because I’m pretty sure I’ve got you, Zuko.”

“For now,” he retorted, returning her grin. “Until I decide to take the lead, that is.”

“Is that so?” she murmured, leaning over to nip around his neck, building up a steady rhythm that he matched, pushing his hips up to meet hers. “I’ve got the moonlight on my side. You don’t stand a chance.”

He grinned and winked up at her.

“Fair point,” he panted as she squeezed around him again. “I like being at your mercy, so I’m in no rush to switch things up.”

Katara raised her eyebrow at that, pausing just long enough to pin his wrists down beside his head.

“Really?” she teased, nipping playfully his neck. “I never would’ve pegged you as the type who likes to be dominated.”

His face flushed slightly at that, likely recalling their earlier conversation in the courtyard. Except she wasn’t a squeamish girl anymore who shrieked at fireflies crawling on her palms.

She was hungry now, starved for him and the sweet release only he could give her. He must have noticed the look in her eyes, but instead of being intimidated, he simply returned it with one of his own.

“I… well, when you put it like that…” he protested unconvincingly. “I mean I don’t, but I like you being in control. There’s a difference.”

She gave him her best smile, the one she used whenever she wanted to be as charming as possible to get her way.

“Sure there is, Zuko,” she teased. 

“I’m serious – oh, _fuck_ , Katara,” he gritted out as she gripped around him again and held tightly for several seconds longer than before.

His eyes scrunched shut as he wordlessly mouthed that a few more times and other choice swears long after she released him.

She just giggled and latched on to his neck again, all the while keeping up the steady rhythm of their hips.

“You sure you’ve never done this before?” he gasped out after a minute or two of her ministrations. “Because you’re _really_ good at it, and I’m getting really close.”

 _Well, they couldn’t have that then_ , she thought. Her body had finally adjusted to his, and she was starting to get the hang of this whole thing.

And _oh_ , he just felt _so_ _damn good_ inside her.

It was biologically impossible, not to mention impractical, but if she could, she would happily ride him all night long and all throughout the next day, only stopping whenever she physically couldn’t move anymore.

Something told her Zuko would have no problem with that scenario, either.

Reluctantly, she slowed down and planted a soft kiss on his neck where a large bruise was now forming. She made a mental note to heal it before he left in the morning and released his wrists, breathing heavily as she stretched out across his chest.

His hands were as hot as coals as they palmed up and down her back again, not that she minded. The heat felt rather nice, actually. 

“I swear, I haven’t,” she panted. “But I’ve imagined us doing this plenty of times over the last month or so.”

He seemed particularly amused by that, and his eyes crinkled up as he chuckled.

“Oh, so you’ve daydreamed about us together like this?” he teased, resting one hand behind his neck. “Guess that makes two of us, then.”

She folded her hands on his chest and propped her chin up on them, giggling.

“Really?” she asked, her smile widening when he nodded. “So how does this compare so far? Am I living up to your dreams?”

His fingertips tenderly traced the edges of her face, eventually cupping her cheek with his palm.

“You’re even better,” he said, guiding her head down as their lips met in a kiss.

~*~*~

He would have been perfectly content letting her be in control all night long, he said, but she had other ideas.

Eventually Zuko rolled them over, and she found herself settled comfortably on her back, the weight of his warm body pressing down on hers.

He carefully hitched her legs up around his waist and slowly thrust inside, soon building up to a steady rhythm.

Katara let out a sigh of contentment and pulled his chest flush against hers, burying her fingers in his hair with one hand as the other slipped under his arm and pulled him closer.

“How’s that?” he murmured after a few minutes, cradling her head in his hands.

She smiled sleepily up at him, brushing locks of his hair out his face that just fell back over his eyes anyways.

“Perfect,” she whispered. “You’re perfect.”

His eyes crinkled up again and he leaned down, capturing her mouth with his. When he eventually broke away, he ducked his head down beside hers and started moving faster.

“You’re so wonderful, you know that?” he breathed near her ear, and she felt a shiver run down her spine that wasn’t just from the tickling sensation. “You’re absolutely amazing, Katara, and you’re the best person I’ve ever met. I -”

He stopped himself, as if he suddenly realized he was about to say something she wasn’t meant to hear before swallowing and ducking his head again. 

But she had an idea of what he was going to say anyways, although she didn’t press him.

Like he explained earlier, they may not even be alive in a few days’ time, so ultimately there was no point in making vows or promises neither could keep, she supposed.

Still, though. She wanted to say _something_ , although she wasn’t quite ready to speak those three words just yet that she suspected he had almost admitted out loud.

“I’m… I’m really glad I met you,” she whispered instead, turning her head slightly to kiss his cheek. “And I’m also really glad you finally came to your senses and joined our side.”

He chuckled at that and pulled back enough to look down at her, tilting his head to the side.

“Me too,” he said softly. “I just wish I’d figured it all out sooner back in Ba Sing Se, and then we might have had more time together.”

“We still might,” she countered hopefully. “You never know.”

He didn’t look like he quite believed her, though he didn’t argue. Instead, he gave her a sad, almost lopsided smile and kissed her deeply.

~*~*~

When they broke apart he settled down flush against her chest again, and she settled her legs higher up his waist, allowing him to go even deeper.

His breathing grew shallower, and his face scrunched up in concentration, and his thrusts became a little rougher than before.

Then he slowed down and stopped to catch his breath.

“I’m close,” he rasped, his body shuddering slightly from the effort of holding back. “So close, Katara.”

She sighed.

“You feel so good though,” she said quietly. “Can’t you hold on for just a bit longer?”

He raised his eyebrow and frowned slightly before nodding.

“I’ll do my best,” he offered, kissing her forehead. “But, um, when I get there, would you rather me…”

His voice trailed off and his face flushed, and she couldn’t stop the giggle that escaped from her lips.

“Yes?” she asked coyly, getting far too much enjoyment from seeing him all flustered.

He looked entirely unamused by her attempts to play innocent.

“You know what I’m trying to say,” he said, trying and failing to hide his impatience as his cheeks burned.

“I’m afraid not.”

He growled quietly in frustration, but he looked somewhat entertained nonetheless, and she knew she had him. 

“You’re killing me here.”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about, Zuko.”

“Come on, Katara. You’re just being mean and torturing me now.”

“I would _never_ ,” she taunted, squeezing around him and drawing a few more swears from his throat as he closed his eyes briefly.

“Please, Katara, _please_ …”

“But I do know that there are a few packets of special tea down in the kitchen for occasions such as this, and I should probably have a cup of that in the morning,” she taunted with a wicked smirk.

Then she barely stifled a yelp when he nipped at her neck in retaliation.

“You little tease,” he admonished, his eyes glowing down at her in the dark. “So you’re okay then, with me, um…”

She giggled at him again, as his blush had overtaken his entire face by now.

“Yes, Zuko,” she whispered, nodding her head for good measure. “As long as you brew it properly, you can finish inside me.”

It didn’t seem possible for him to turn any redder, but he managed it anyways, and he seemed to choke on his next words at first.

“Good - good thing I worked in a tea shop for all those months, then,” he retorted weakly, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “We used to get customers all the time who’d come in and discreetly ask for that, so at least I’ll know what I’m doing.”

He paused and bit his lip, ducking his head for a moment.

“ _That_ was an awkward conversation with my uncle, when I finally asked him why only women seemed to order it,” he said dryly.

She could just picture him all flustered back then too, and she giggled again. He grinned down at her and gently kissed her lips.

“I can go for just a bit longer, a few minutes at most,” he whispered. “Ready?”

Katara kissed his cheek and nodded.

“Ready,” she breathed.

~*~*~

He settled down on top of her again and built back up a steady rhythm, panting heavily and groaning in her ear.

She just held him closer and snaked her legs as high around his torso as they could go, whimpering as he reached deeper and deeper.

“Harder,” she gasped out, squeezing him with her arms and legs, dragging her nails into his back. “You can go harder, _please_ , you feel so good…”

He growled at that and complied, and she had to bite her bottom lip to keep from crying out as he went faster and rougher.

Then he paused just long enough to prop her legs up on his shoulders, allowing him to go even deeper, and she almost choked. She let out a loud moan in spite of herself, or at least she started to before his mouth crashed against hers to muffle the sound.

Just like at the very beginning there was almost a sensation of pain, but it was quickly overtaken by ecstasy as she just barely held back from sobbing with need.

Something dark and feral was building inside her now, too, practically screaming at her that this was all she ever needed, just let him in _deeper_ , she needed him _deeper_ …

Then his hips roughly slammed into her rapidly, almost like a stutter, and he choked out her name from somewhere above her in the darkness.

Somehow, she had the sense of mind to adjust her legs and wrap them around his waist again before he collapsed on top of her.

His body shuddered over and over as he panted beside her ear, and she clung to him desperately as they rode out wave after wave of euphoria.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” she found herself whispering, echoing his words from earlier as he slowly, wearily thrust inside her several more times before finally stopping. “I’ve got you.”

She ran her fingers through his hair as they panted, and his heart was hammering so loudly that she almost felt it in her own chest as she hugged him, breathlessly pressing her lips to his forehead.

And like before, this was all she needed or wanted, just the two of them, together.

~*~*~

Eventually he caught his breath, at least enough to prop himself up on his elbows, albeit shakily, and look down at her in mild concern.

“Are you okay? Was that too -”

But she cut him off by pulling him down for a long kiss, and she poured all of the words she wanted to say but didn’t quite know how into it, hoping he would somehow understand them.

He responded just as feverishly, pulling away only to gasp for breath all too quickly.

She'd had her doubts before, but there was no questioning now what the look in his eyes meant as he gazed down at her.

Katara was tempted to say them out loud, and perhaps it was because of the haze she was in after everything that they’d just done and experienced together – but not right now, she thought.

She still wasn’t quite ready to speak them into existence just yet, and she certainly wasn’t going to unless he said them first.

So she ran her fingers through his hair again, trailing her hand down the side of his face to cup his cheek.

“That was…” she began, then let out a tiny giggle. “Everything I ever dreamed it would be, and more. You were amazing, Zuko.”

He smiled in relief and planted soft, delicate kisses along her neck and jawline before he reached her lips.

“You were heavenly,” he breathed, kissing her just as deeply as she had before. “You’re so beautiful.”

She highly doubted that, as her hair was currently a tangled mess and her chest was flushed and she was still a bit breathless, but he looked at her like she was too good to be true, all the same.

He gave her another soft, unsteady kiss before he settled down against her, resting his head on her chest, closing his eyes as his face relaxed into an expression of pure bliss.

“I’m really not at the moment, but you’re too kind,” she murmured, wrapping her arms around him.

“’Course you are,” he mumbled, looking up at her and smiling tiredly. “I’ve always thought you were pretty, but right now, you’ve never looked more stunning.”

Something about the way he said that, not to mention that same look in his eyes again, made her want to cry.

"Who knew that the prince who once tied me to a tree could be so sweet?" she whispered, kissing the top of his head.

Then a wild thought occurred to her.

"But if you wanted to tie me up _again_ , I wouldn't be opposed to it..."

She giggled as his eyes widened in shock.

"Or maybe I could tie _you_ up..." she mused.

His jaw dropped and his cheeks flushed, and she had to clap her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

“You know, you act all sweet and innocent, but really you’re even more corrupt than I am,” he teased, lazily kissing her chest.

“I didn’t hear any complaints from you just now,” she retorted, and he winked up at her.

“And you never will,” he breathed.

He leaned forward as their lips met once more before he settled down on his back beside her.

“It’s really late,” he said with a yawn, “and we’ve got a big couple of days ahead of us, so we really should be falling asleep soon.”

She nodded and curled up against him, resting her head on his chest. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her in closer, and before she dozed off she faintly heard him say something about how he’d brew that cup of silphium tea for her first thing in the morning.

"It looks and smells similar to licorice root tea, except it's more bitter," he was mumbling, and she nodded sleepily. "So if you want, we can just say it's that since I'm guessing you probably don't want to advertise it in front of the others."

Then she felt his fingers slowly trailing through her hair and he planted soft, sweet kisses on her forehead, and the last thing she remembered before sleep overtook her was the starlight twinkling against the night sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick random trivia: Back in ancient Rome and Greece, silphium was a plant used as a contraceptive (among other things) but is now extinct. Since it's gone no one really knows what it tasted or smelled like, but I've seen research that it was from the genus Ferula and could have been similar to fennel. Since some types of fennel can taste like licorice and there's licorice root tea, I thought, why not? Let's go with that. 
> 
> It would have been SO much easier if I'd just made something up instead, but nope, I had to go and make things difficult for myself by actually doing research. 
> 
> I'm thinking one more chapter after this, then either an epilogue or a one-shot sequel, maybe? I haven't decided yet, but in the meantime, I hope you've enjoyed it so far! 
> 
> I'll also be updating the tags with the next entry, FYI... just because they finally slept together doesn't mean they're home free, unfortunately. Don't be surprised if there's a bit of drama in the next chapter.


	4. Sunlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a sweet, romantic night of first times, reality unfortunately ensues. You guys are not going to like me after this chapter, but I’ll see you down in the End Notes and Comments!
> 
> Also, your eyes aren’t playing tricks on you if you first read this back when I originally posted it. I went back and swapped out the song lyrics at the beginning for ones that seemed to fit better.

_Oh, tell me now, where was my fault  
In loving you with my whole heart?_

White Blank Page - Mumford and Sons

* * *

Katara woke the next morning to an empty bed and the blinding rays of sunlight that filtered in through her window.

She let out a sigh and pulled the bedsheets up around her shoulders for just a moment and lazily inhaled the faintest remnants of his scent.

So it hadn’t been just a dream, then. She and Zuko had actually…

What had she been _thinking?!_

She sat up, clutching the sheets around her bare chest, breathing heavily.

 _Calm down, calm down, calm down_ , she thought dizzily as she tried to will her heart from pounding against her ribs _._

So they had admitted their feelings for each other – that was no big deal. Then she had initiated kissing, also nothing worth fretting over. People kissed all the time, especially when they found the other person attractive…

But oh, no. She just had to take it several steps further and invited him right into her bed and seduced him, didn’t she.

Nice going, Katara.

Oh spirits, she had _seduced_ him. She had kissed, caressed, teased, and taken him… there was no way she could face Zuko again, not after they’d done all of _that_.

He was the Fire Nation prince and she was a master waterbender from the Southern Water Tribe, for goodness’ sake.

Given the bloody history between their two nations, there was little to no chance of them having a happy ending together, even in the best-case scenario.

It made far more sense for Zuko to be with someone else from the Fire Nation, like Mai. In fact, Katara would be willing to bet that he’d still be dating her if given the chance.

Still, though.

Katara had meant everything she whispered in the darkness – she really did care for him, and she didn’t want to have any regrets in case they survived and went their separate ways after the war. 

And if these were indeed her last days alive, she had wanted to spend at least one night with Zuko, to feel his touch and kiss his lips and hold him in her arms and be held by him in return.

For once, she had wanted to be the selfish one and get what she wanted without worrying about the consequences. Wasn’t she owed that at least, especially after everything she’d been through?

Yet for some reason, in the bright light of the day, it seemed… well, not _wrong_ , exactly. She wasn’t sure. Why was she even freaking out like this?

Maybe it was because of what the others would say? Perhaps. She had a feeling Suki and Toph would be happy for her, and in fact they probably had a secret ongoing bet on when she and Zuko would finally get together.

Sokka would probably freak out at first, just a little, at the idea of his little sister and one of his best friends ( _royalty_ from the _Fire Nation_ , no less) hooking up. But ultimately, she thought he would be happy for them as well. It’s not like this was the same angry, temperamental prince they first met nearly three years ago, after all.

She thought even her father would eventually come around – he and Zuko had struck up an odd friendship of sorts after their escape from the Boiling Rock. On more than one occasion she had even caught the two of them having polite, if not friendly conversations back at the Western Air Temple. It would be an adjustment, but she thought Hakoda might actually approve on some level.

 _Aang_ , on the other hand…

Katara had been aware of the Avatar’s feelings regarding her for some time now, and she’d gently tried to let him down easily the night of the play. She had thought at one point she might have even reciprocated them, but over time she realized she just didn’t feel the same way about him.

It wasn’t like she had turned Aang down just to leap right into Zuko’s arms – in fact, she hadn’t even _liked_ the prince for the longest time after he joined their side, not until a month or so ago, anyways.

But she had a horrible, horrible suspicion her friend wouldn’t see it that way.

Assuming they won the war, good relations between the Avatar and the Fire Nation would be critical for the world to rebuild, not to mention keeping the peace.

She wasn’t sure if Iroh would take the throne once it was all over or perhaps even Zuko, but would Aang be willing to put aside his wounded feelings and cooperate if it were the latter?

Something told her that he probably wouldn’t.

This was ridiculous, though. She owed Aang nothing, so why did she still feel an overwhelming sense of guilt?

Because she knew he would absolutely feel betrayed on some level by Zuko’s actions. Her actions. _Their_ actions.

But… it’s not like this had to escalate into something deeper, right?

She and Zuko had made no promises or vows last night even in the throes of passion, just like he had warned her against.

They had never actually said they loved each other, after all, even though Zuko’s eyes certainly _had_ , which she couldn’t deny even in the harsh glare of the morning light.

She really, truly cared about him, but did she actually love him? She didn’t know anymore.

 _This is too much_ , she thought as she cradled her face in her palms. She just needed something to clear her head, like a nice hot cup of tea – the _tea_.

Maybe that was the cause of her sudden onslaught of stress. She had gotten so lost in the moment that she had actually encouraged him to…

Seriously, what had she been _thinking_? For all she knew, she could be carrying his child inside of her right now. But as long as she drank that tea, they shouldn’t have anything to worry about.

Katara wasn’t opposed to becoming a mother one day, but not right now – again, assuming they survived the next few days, it was so hard to think about or plan for the future when she wasn’t sure if she even had one.

She sprang out of bed – or at least she started to, before she choked back a cry as her body reminded her exactly what she’d given up and received last night. The soreness had faded somewhat, but she still walked with a hint of a limp towards her washroom.

Maybe she could heal herself with waterbending? For some strange reason, though, she almost didn’t want to. But that was ridiculous, she thought – she couldn’t exactly be limping into battle, no matter how badly she wanted to remember the way he had felt.

So she hurriedly healed herself as she bathed, washing away all traces and evidence of him, even as her fingers lingered over all of the places on her body he had touched and kissed and…

 _Not now, not now_. She didn’t have time to think about this now.

Once she dried herself off she dressed and styled her hair with shaking fingers before she rushed out of her bedroom.

Then she slammed directly into the one person she either wanted to avoid or couldn’t wait to see, she still wasn’t entirely sure of which, because _of course_ , that was just her luck.

It could have been worse, though. At least it wasn’t Aang.

~*~*~

Zuko let out a loud grunt of surprise as they collided and she gasped in surprise, blinking up at him with wide eyes.

His own crinkled up when they settled on her, and his face broke out into that same blissful smile again, the same one he’d had last night when he caught his breath afterwards lying on her chest.

Thankfully, he wasn’t wearing his usual tunic and robes – this shirt collar was high enough that it covered the markings on his neck she’d left with her teeth, so at least the evidence from their tryst was hidden.

She had completely forgotten to heal the telltale splotchy bruises before she dozed off last night. Once again, good job, Katara.

“Good morning,” he said, his golden eyes practically gleaming in the sunlight. “It’s getting close to noon, so I was swinging by to check on you. Did you sleep well?”

She suddenly felt a lump in her throat and she couldn’t answer, so she just nodded. 

His smile widened as he leaned down to kiss her, but she evaded it, pulling away and stepping backwards. Her stomach twisted into knots when she saw confusion and hurt wash over his face.

“You haven’t told anyone about us yet, have you?” she whispered nervously. “About what we did last night?”

His eyes narrowed and he frowned slightly.

“Of course not,” he said a bit testily. “I was waiting on _you_ , to see how you wanted to break the news to the others that we were together now…”

He trailed off as she hung her head in shame and hugged herself.

“But something tells me that’s not going to happen anymore, is it?” he asked, folding his arms defensively.

“I… I don’t know,” she confessed.

There was a long silence before he spoke again, and this time his voice sounded more sad than anything. 

“Katara, talk to me, _please_. What’s wrong? What changed your mind?”

She closed her eyes so she wouldn’t have to look at him.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I do like you a lot, but you were right, and it all hit me after I woke up. I… I shouldn’t have talked you into anything, especially since the future and everything’s so uncertain right now. I guess I just got carried away. I’m… I’m so sorry, Zuko, but I shouldn’t have done what I did last night.”

Katara opened her eyes, blinking away tears, and she immediately wished she’d kept them closed instead.

She even wished she could be blind right now, anything to keep her from seeing the crestfallen expression on his face.

And it was all because of her, and her stupid, stupid actions. She would have rather he looked furious – at least that would be easier than seeing the look of betrayal in his eyes.

“So what was last night all about, then?” he asked, his voice suddenly turning cold.

“I don’t know,” she whispered again.

“Because I think I at least deserve the right to know. Was I some kind of a distraction, or were you just using me so you could get off? Or maybe you just wanted to brag later about how you sweet-talked me into bed with you, or…?”

“Zuko, no!” she pleaded, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes in spite of her best efforts. “I promise, it’s not like that. I really do care about you.”

She had hoped that would bring him some level of comfort, but if anything, he just looked even more heartbroken.

His features softened, and thankfully he closed his eyes. She couldn’t stand seeing the sadness in them, how could she have been so _selfish_ …

“But you regret it, don’t you,” he said quietly as he opened them and studied her.

It wasn’t a question, more of a statement of fact, and she hated herself that she couldn’t outright deny it. 

“I…” she began before she stopped. “I don’t know _what_ I feel, but I know I do care about you. I’m so sorry. It’s just, with everything happening in the next few days, I just realized this morning that I shouldn’t have done… what we did.”

There was a long, uncomfortable pause.

“I guess I just don’t understand,” he finally said in a low voice, “why you said all those things last night, about how you didn’t want to have any regrets when it came to us. You almost made it sound like…”

He chose not to finish that sentence, and she wasn’t sure if she was grateful for that or not.

“You’re right, Zuko, I did say those things,” she whispered, hugging herself tighter. “But remember, _you’re_ the one who said you couldn’t make any promises or vows and that it would probably be just a one-time thing. Last night doesn’t have to mean anything.”

His eyes widened and for a moment he almost looked angry, but that quickly gave way to glowering.

“So did… did last night mean anything to you at all?” he asked, closing his eyes once more. “Because it meant something to _me_.”

And there it was, the one unavoidable fact she couldn’t deny. She mentally fumbled for her next words, knowing they could very well break him… but maybe it was for the best, after all. Maybe they just needed to make a clean break.

“I… it did mean something to me, too” she admitted reluctantly. “But when I woke up this morning, I realized that it ultimately won’t matter, because either we die in a few days or we survive and go our separate ways. I just don’t see a happy ending for us, Zuko.”

He finally opened his eyes, and she never despised herself more than she did just now when she saw the pain in them.

“You think I haven’t thought about that?” he asked, and his voice wavered for a second before he regained control. “I’ve lo- I’ve cared about you for some time now, which I thought I’d made clear last night. Why do you think I’ve never acted on it?”

She couldn’t answer, so he continued.

“Because I didn’t want to start something that would ultimately hurt either of us. Then last night I thought we were finally on the same page when you asked me to spend the night and initiated everything. I…”

Once again he trailed off, as if he didn’t trust himself to continue.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered after another long silence. “This is all my fault, I just don’t know what I want anymore-”

“Well, let me know when you do figure it out, okay?” he snapped.

Then he winced and covered his face with his hands, as if in shame.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Katara, I didn’t mean to say it like that-”

“No, it’s okay,” she mumbled. “I deserve it.”

He uncovered his face and stared down at her, and it took all of her strength to meet his gaze without crying.

“For what it’s worth, I don’t regret what we did and I’m not sorry about anything from last night,” he said bitterly, “but maybe I _should_ be. At least I didn’t tell you that I ...”

He stopped himself, and once again she knew exactly what he’d been about to say.

Without another word he brushed past her, and she felt herself shaking as she tried to keep it together. Just a few more moments, then he’d be gone, and she could finally break down…

“By the way,” he said harshly once he reached the corner of the hallway somewhere behind her, “I thought you could use a _cup of tea_ this morning, so that’s downstairs waiting for you. Sokka’s keeping an eye on it until you get down there, so you’d better hurry up. Wouldn’t want it to get _cold_.”

She hurriedly wiped her eyes as she turned to face him. The last thing he needed was to feel pity for her right now.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

A new wave of shame washed over her as his eyes widened and his wrath visibly dissipated when he saw her tearful expression. He even started to walk back towards her, but she held up her hand to stop him.

“Please don’t,” she choked out. “I don’t deserve it.”

But he ignored it, and seconds later he was standing before her again, looking just as hurt and confused as she was.

“I can’t just leave you like this,” he said quietly, his voice shaking. “Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

She was a _monster_. She’d just ripped his heart out in the worst way possible and he was concerned about _her_ stupid feelings and wanting to comfort _her_.

“No,” she whispered. “You’ve done enough for me already. But thank you.”

“Katara-”

“ _Please_ , Zuko. Just go.”

He hesitated, and for a moment she worried he would reach out and try to embrace her. Instead, he nodded and turned on his heel, and at last he was gone.

She stood there a few minutes after he left, burying her face in her hands, but she had no time to break down.

The sooner she drank that tea the better, then they could put this all behind them. So she wiped her eyes and squared her shoulders and marched down to the kitchen.

~*~*~

Just like Zuko had said, her brother was waiting for her in the kitchen.

His back was turned to her with the cup in his hands when she entered, and he seemed slightly flustered when he saw her.

“There you are, sis!’ he said a bit too loudly, all but shoving the steaming hot cup towards her on the table after she sat down. “So I don’t know why, but Zuko asked me to make sure you got this special blend of licorice root tea when you came down, apparently you’ve been wanting to try it out, although I don’t know why he couldn’t have just taken it up to your room, and anyways I-”

He stopped and his eyes narrowed in suspicion when he saw her face. Katara just ignored his questioning look as she sipped it in silence.

It indeed tasted sweet like licorice root, she thought to herself, although for some reason she expected it to be more bitter like Zuko had mentioned last night. Maybe he’d added honey or sugar to it? That would be the exact thing he would have done, too.

She had to give Zuko credit. She’d never sampled either blend before, but it could easily pass for licorice root. Leave it to a former tea server to know these things and come up with an innocuous enough cover for them both.

Besides, it’s not like her brother would know, right?

She was shaken from her thoughts when she realized Sokka was calling her name and waving his hand in front of her face, trying to get her attention.

“What?” she snapped. “Can’t you let me drink my tea in peace?”

He recoiled in alarm, and she immediately felt guilty.

“Sokka, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it,” she apologized, looking down. “I’m just not in a good mood today, and I shouldn’t take it out on you.”

“I’ll say,” he snorted, sitting down beside her. “You okay? You seem pretty upset, sis, do you want to talk about it?”

She shook her head and smiled weakly.

“No, that’s… don’t worry about it,” she said, tracing the swirling pattern in the wooden table with her fingernail. “I might tell you eventually, but for now, I really don’t want to talk about it.”

He nodded and patted her shoulder.

“Well, whatever it is, I’m here for ya,” he said in his best Wise Older Brother Voice. “Don’t forget, Sokka’s Instincts can help solve almost any problem.”

She forced a smile.

“Thanks,” she said, suddenly feeling tired. “Listen, what time are we heading out again? There’s something I need to do before we leave.”

“A couple more hours,” he said, shifting in his seat. “Seriously, if you want to talk about anything, I’ve got time to listen.”

Again, she shook her head and smiled.

They sat in silence for several minutes, and thankfully Sokka didn’t try to pry any further – at least until she finished the tea.

“By the way, how was it?” he asked, gesturing to the empty cup. “Did it taste weird or anything?”

Katara looked at her brother quizzically.

“No, why?” she asked. “Did you do something to it?”

“What?!” he yelped, his face turning red. “Of course not! It’s just, well, I had some licorice root tea right before you came down and it tasted weird, so I didn’t know if it was just me. I took a few sips and ended up pouring it down the drain.”

“Mine’s fine,” she said, shrugging her shoulders and acting as nonchalant as possible.

But of course, Sokka didn’t drop the subject like she’d hoped he would.

“Oh, good,” he said with a visible look of relief. “Like I said, I don’t know why, but I found Zuko in here this morning waiting around, I guess for you, so he could surprise you. He didn’t explain why but he made it seem like this big deal that you tried it.”

“Good thing I got it then,” she grumbled, hoping he’d take a hint and stop talking.

Of course, her brother didn’t. Sokka’s Instincts were either spot-on or way off course, just like they were now.

“Yeah, what’s wild is that Zuko was happier this morning than I’ve ever seen him before. It’s like he was almost a completely different person. I’m not gonna lie, it’s kinda weird seeing him in such a good mood, but I guess we need all of the positive vibes we can get before – Katara, are you okay? You look like you’re about to cry.”

Was she? Katara reached up to touch the corners of her eyes and discovered they were indeed wet.

“Seriously, what’s going on with you?” Sokka asked, his eyes narrowing in concern. “Is it about Zuko? Did he do something to you?”

More like the other way around. Her brother’s instincts were just _awful_ today.

“No, no,” she protested, wiping her eyes as she scrambled to come up with a plausible excuse. “It’s just… we had a fight, and I hurt his feelings really badly, and…”

“And he made you this tea as a peace offering, right?” Sokka finished for her, raising his eyebrow.

Sure, why not? That was believable enough. Katara nodded as her brother gently patted her shoulder. He didn’t look like he quite believed it, but he also didn’t look like he was going to press the issue, thankfully.

“Like you said, good thing you got this cup then,” he said soothingly. “Is that what you meant earlier, the thing you needed to do before we left? Talk it over with him?”

She nodded glumly as he continued rambling on, which she eventually just blocked out. 

Drinking the tea had been the easy part. Now she had to find Zuko and somehow apologize again for breaking his heart.

As she left she heard her brother mumbling something to himself about the weird taste of his licorice root tea earlier, but she paid him no attention.

In hindsight, she probably should have found his behavior more suspicious, but she had other things on her mind.

~*~*~

By the time she finally found Zuko again, it was almost time for them to leave.

She ran into him as he loaded up his belongings on Appa’s saddle, and she stopped in her tracks, her heart suddenly in her throat.

She was tempted to slink away, but of _course_ he spotted her and stopped what he was doing altogether. So she swallowed nervously and crept over.

Fortunately, no one else was around, so they at least had a minute or two of privacy.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

Katara stared at the tiles beneath her feet as he hopped down and stood in front of her, folding his arms.

“Thank you for the tea,” she mumbled. “I just wanted to... I’m… I’m really sorry, Zuko…”

“Don’t be, it’s not your fault,” he chided softly, and her head whipped up to stare at him in shock. “You were right, I’m the one who said not to expect anything after last night. I’m the one who broke my own rules and got my hopes up when I should have known better.”

Suddenly, she remembered. 

“I can heal your neck, if you...” she started to say, but he smiled sadly and shook his head.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, looking down with flushed cheeks. “It sounds weird, but I don’t mind keeping them... not exactly as a souvenir, just as a memory, I guess...if that makes sense...” 

“It does,” she conceded quietly.

She wished now she hadn’t healed herself earlier so she’d have something physical to remember him by, too.

From somewhere inside the house she heard the others talking and laughing, and she knew they didn’t have much time left.

“Katara, I’m not mad at you,” he continued. “I just… never mind, it’s not important now, I guess. My uncle once said that some things could only be done or talked about at night, and it was sometimes best for them to be forgotten about the next day. What happened last night can be one of those things.”

She didn’t know how to respond, so she just hung her head again.

“But I can’t forget this, I _hurt_ you,” she whispered. “I was selfish and it was wrong.”

He shook his head again.

“Maybe you deserved to be selfish for once,” he said gently. “You're always looking out for everyone else, after all. But look, I just don’t want there to be any bad blood between us, so just know that I’m not upset at you. I’m… I’m mad at myself.”

“You shouldn’t be, you should be angry at me. You should probably even hate me.”

She sensed him moving closer to her and looked up to see him gazing down at her sadly.

“That will never happen,” he murmured with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Just do one thing for me though, okay? Assume we win the war. Think about your life afterwards and what all you want. Don’t think about what your family, your tribe, or the world wants from you. Don’t even worry about what I want. What do _you_ want, Katara? Then whenever you figure that out, you should go for it, and don’t let anyone try to stop you from being happy.”

He cautiously extended his hand. 

“Friends?” he asked quietly. 

She nodded mutely and took his warm hand in hers for the briefest of moments, the same hand that had caressed her last night and held her tightly in the darkness, keeping her warm and safe.

Zuko smiled half-heartedly with the same mouth that had kissed her and had brought her to near-tears as he knelt beside the bed and touched her in a way no one else ever had before.

He even gave her a sad wink of reassurance, with those golden eyes that had gazed up at her with love as she took him for the first time and long after he had finished inside her, wrapped up in her trembling arms.

Katara found herself blinking back tears again.

But she had no time to say anything else and he had no time to reach out and wipe them away, as her brother, Suki, and Toph finally emerged from the house with their stuff.

She quickly composed herself and forced a smile as they approached, and she noticed Zuko do the same out of the corner of her eye.

Katara had meant to thank him again for the tea and ask what he put in it to make it taste so sweet, but she quickly got distracted by something Suki was trying to tell her.

Then a few minutes later, Toph pointed out that Aang was conspicuously absent, and once they realized he was missing, Katara completely forgot about mentioning the tea’s surprising (almost unusual even) sweetness to Zuko.

~*~*~

But she finally remembered it though, just over a month later.

She woke up earlier than usual one morning during their last week of staying in the Fire Nation palace and promptly ran to her washroom before violently emptying the contents of her stomach.

It was only after she settled down on the floor afterwards, trembling from exhaustion, that she realized what could have caused her sudden illness, and her blood suddenly ran cold.

She’d been so distracted by all of the commotion and excitement of the war ending over the last few weeks that she’d forgotten about something else entirely.

Or rather, the _lack_ of something else.

But that was impossible, she couldn’t actually be…

Katara closed her eyes and lifted her nightgown with shaking hands, calling forth a handful of water that she slowly and carefully waved over her stomach, searching frantically.

Maybe it was something she ate last night, and besides it had been a stressful last couple of weeks, there was no way she could be…

… there it was. She was almost certain of it.

The shock of the revelation made her drop the water clumsily in her lap, and she clapped both hands over her mouth to keep from gasping out, even though no one would have heard her.

_Oh, no._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Surpriiise...
> 
> Don’t worry, I’m either going to add an epilogue or a one-shot sequel to explain exactly how this happened (although you can probably guess), so I won’t leave you all hanging. I’m evil but not *that* evil.
> 
> Was the ending predictable? Probably. Am I sorry about it? Not even a little.


	5. Epilogue

_I had all and then most of you  
Some and now none of you_   
_Take me back to the night we met_   
_I don't know what I'm supposed to do  
Haunted by the ghost of you_   
_Oh, take me back to the night we met_

The Night We Met – Lord Huron

* * *

The stars glittered against the deep blue-black night sky as they whirled by overhead, and once again Katara was wide awake.

Even though she had fallen asleep curled up in a corner of Appa’s saddle countless times before, she couldn’t get comfortable enough to doze off.

Just like the previous night, sleep seemed determined to evade her yet again. This time, however, she knew exactly what was causing her insomnia.

Katara tilted her head in his direction, but of course she couldn’t see him over the edge of the saddle, settled in his perch on Appa’s neck as he guided them all through the night.

She had no idea how Zuko could still see the bounty hunter and her shirshu down below in the darkness, but he managed it somehow.

He and her brother had offered to take turns flying throughout the night, and any minute now Sokka would swap out with him.

Maybe she should offer to take over for a shift. It’s not like she was actually getting any rest, anyways.

She envied the others, who were snoring slightly as they slept, blissfully unaware of the thoughts racing through her mind and probably through Zuko’s, too.

Despite their awkward reconciliation earlier that day, both had avoided speaking or even acknowledging the other unless it was absolutely necessary. The others didn’t seem to notice anything was amiss either, so that was some small comfort at least.

Katara sighed and wiggled slightly as she tried to get comfortable enough to fall asleep, but just like last night, it was turning into a lost cause. 

Maybe if she closed her eyes, she could trick herself into sleeping. It was worth a shot, right? That’s probably what she should have done last night instead of creeping out of bed. It would have saved both of them all of the heartache her stupid, selfish actions caused.

Strange how so much could change over the course of a single day.

She sighed again and turned over on her side, facing away from the others. She wanted to cry, and she probably could have gotten away with it. The wind would cover any sound she made, but for some reason she just couldn’t bring herself break to down.

It was all her fault that both of their hearts were shattered; she didn’t deserve the right to tears.

Sokka yawned from somewhere behind her and she squeezed her eyes shut, even though he couldn’t possibly see that she was still awake. A few minutes later she heard him carefully maneuver around the others’ sleeping forms, making his way towards the front of the saddle.

“Hey buddy,” she heard him call out softly. “Ready to swap? You’ve been at it for a while, you must be getting tired.”

Zuko probably shook his head, because her brother snorted in disbelief.

“I’m fine,” she heard him rasp, and her heart leapt into her throat at the sound.

Was it always going to be like this? Only two words from him that weren’t even directed towards her, and she was frozen like an animal caught in a trap.

Maybe it was best they go their separate ways as soon as possible, after all. At least she’d drank all of the silphium tea earlier, so that was one less thing to worry about. The last thing either of them needed was a souvenir from their one night together... no matter how adorable a baby from them would have turned out to be. 

“Look, I’m awake now, so I might as well take over the reins,” her brother was saying. “You can hang out up here with me if you’d like, but you really should take a break.”

Appa slowed down for just a moment and she heard Sokka carefully crawl forward, and then they picked up speed again.

She didn’t know if she was relieved or disappointed that Zuko had opted to stay with her brother. It’s not like they could have talked with the others sleeping nearby. She didn’t even know what she’d say, anyways.

Some time passed before she heard Sokka speak in hushed tones.

“So… are you okay? You seemed like you were in such a good mood earlier, but since then you’ve been really bummed out.”

 _Oh Sokka, don’t_ , she thought, suppressing a groan. The last thing her brother needed to be doing was nosing around.

Fortunately, Zuko sounded calm when he responded.

“Yeah… it’s just there’s been a lot on my mind lately, and now I’m probably going to see my uncle again after I betrayed him, so I guess I’m just nervous.”

“Makes sense,” she heard her brother agree.

Well, that was a harmless enough topic. She had been so distracted by her own heartbreak that she hadn’t even stopped to consider how Zuko must be feeling at the prospect of seeing his uncle again.

Once again, nice going, Katara.

There was another long silence, and she scoffed under her breath. Why didn’t Sokka say anything else, something more comforting? She knew boys generally didn’t talk about their feelings, especially to each other, but _come_ _on_.

Zuko was the type of guy who needed the freedom to vent his thoughts and express his emotions. If she’d been in any position to offer help – as in, if she wasn’t the cause of his broken heart – she would have marched right up there and asked him if he wanted to talk about what was on his mind.

Ugh. Boys and their lack of social cues sometimes…

“So, did you make up with Katara earlier? She said you two had a big fight or something.”

Oh. _No._

On second thought, talking about emotions was entirely overrated, she decided.

Why couldn’t Sokka have just kept his big mouth shut for once? She knew it was impossible, but she thought _please shut up, please shut up_ , over and over towards her brother’s direction.

“Oh really?” Zuko responded, his voice strained like it did whenever he tried (and failed) at lying. “I mean, yeah, we worked it all out. We’re good now, everything’s good.”

She could just picture her brother raising his eyebrow.

“You sure about that? Because you two have been avoiding each other pretty much all day long, and I dunno, I’ve just gotten a weird vibe from you both. Did something happen?”

He paused.

“Or did _you_ do something to _her_?” he asked darkly.

Shut up, Sokka. _Shut. Up._

Zuko snorted.

“Please. I may be a jerk but I’m _not_ that kind of guy. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt her, and you know as well as I do that she’d kill me in a heartbeat first.”

“Yeah, I know, I trust you, but that’s part of my job as her big brother, looking out for her and stuff. It’s just, I haven’t seen her act so depressed in a while. Katara does a pretty good job of hiding it sometimes, but she was really upset this morning, and she looked like she was about to cry several times today. Have you noticed?”

There was a silence.

“Oh,” was all Zuko said, and she knew him well enough by now to recognize the self-loathing in his voice. “No, I guess not.”

He was such a terrible liar, completely unlike his sister. Azula must have inherited all of the deceit, while he got all of the temper.

If only Sokka would _just shut up_.

She knew Zuko probably still blamed himself for everything that happened between them, even though it was all her fault, and telling him all of this was the last thing he needed to hear right now.

“So, want to tell me what you two got into a fight about? Because I love my sister, but she likes to hit below the belt sometimes to get the upper hand in an argument, so you shouldn’t take everything she says seriously.”

… oh, she was _definitely_ going to kill her brother now. Besides, she did not hit below the belt, verbally or otherwise… not often, anyways.

Zuko was silent, and she could picture Sokka elbowing him now.

“Come on buddy, talk to me. What horrible, mean things did my sister say? Because I can chew her out if I need-”

“Oh no, don’t worry about it,” Zuko said hurriedly, and she envisioned him running his hand through his hair, ruffling it up like he did whenever he was nervous or flustered.

“You sure?”

“I’m not scared of your sister, Sokka.”

“Of course you are. If she told you to jump off of Appa’s head right now, you’d do it no questions asked.”

Zuko scoffed loudly.

“I would _not_. Give me some credit at least. I mean, sure, she could easily take me in a fight if she wanted to, I mean, I’d also let her win, but that’s not…”

He paused and sighed.

“… that’s not what the problem is.”

“Hmm. So what’s the deal? What did you two kids get into an argument about then?”

“If I tell you, Sokka, will you drop it?”

 _Oh no_ , she thought in horror, and immediately she started up a new mental chant. _Please shut up Zuko, please shut up Zuko…_

“No promises, but go on.”

“Basically… it was just a big misunderstanding on my part, and I thought one thing, but she didn’t see it like I did. She was right, by the way. I just hope she doesn’t blame herself. I’ve told her already she doesn’t have anything to be sorry for, but knowing her, she probably does. I just wish she’d quit blaming herself for everything…”

 _He_ was one to talk.

“… because she’s already doing so much for the rest of us and she stretches herself so thin, and she should really think about what’s best for herself sometimes. Katara’s always looking out for everyone else, but who looks out for her?”

She swallowed and felt a lump in her throat. Sokka seemed to ponder all of this for a bit.

“Yeah… she’s been the mothering type ever since Mom died, and I guess it’s partly my fault. She really stepped up and I could have been more supportive.”

“Sokka, you both were little kids at the time. Neither of you should have been in that position to begin with. It sounds like you two handled it as best you could, under the circumstances.”

“Still though…”

~*~*~

There was another long silence, and Katara could finally sense sleep on the horizon.

She was about to nod off entirely when she heard her brother clear his throat pointedly.

“So, I’ve got a question for you and it’s super personal.”

“Sure, go for it.”

“How long have you liked my sister?”

Katara’s eyes flew wide open and she heard Zuko coughing in shock.

“What?!” he hissed.

So much for sleeping tonight. She was going to kill Sokka then raise him from the dead just to kill him all over again.

“Come on, buddy, it’s obvious. We’ve all seen the way you smile whenever she’s around and how you practically turn into a huge softie whenever she acts nice towards you. Me, Suki, and Toph all know that you’ve got it bad for my sister.”

“I do not turn into – what are you even talking about?” Zuko sputtered. “And everyone knows?!”

Sokka just snorted.

“Dude. I’m not upset or anything. It’s _Aang_ you need to worry about; he’s carried a torch for her ever since we first found him. I think he suspects but I’m not going to ask him, you know?”

“Yeah, I know, but I don’t…”

He fumbled around, trying to come up with an excuse before eventually sighing in defeat. “So… it’s obvious then? I’m not as bad as he is, am I?”

“ _Aha_! You admit it,” Sokka crowed triumphantly before Zuko shushed him. “No, Aang is way more in-your-face about it, even though I’m pretty sure it’s all one-sided on his part. I thought at one time Katara might have liked him back, but I don’t think she does after all.”

“Oh.”

“I think you’d have better luck, though. You’re more of the quiet, broody type who lets her be in charge, plus my sister really seems to like you.”

She heard Zuko let out a long sigh.

“No, she doesn’t. Not like that, anyways.”

“You sure about that? I know Katara pretty well, and I think she might just have a crush on you, too…”

“Sokka.”

“You should tell her! Let her know. I wouldn’t be totally opposed to it, even though you’re Fire Nation, because you’re really not that bad of a guy, one of my best friends even...”

“ _Sokka_.”

“I’m serious, what have you got to lose? You never give up on anything and I’ve never seen you back down from a fight. Go for it!”

“Would you just shut up?!” Zuko hissed, and she pictured her brother wincing. “I already told her. She knows, and she’s not interested. That’s what our big fight was about, okay? Can we drop it now?”

There was a long, awkward, uncomfortable silence.

“Oh,” Sokka finally mumbled. “I’m so sorry.”

Zuko exhaled slowly.

“No, it’s okay. I mean, she does but not the same way I care about her. Besides, it’s not like we’d have any kind of future together, even if we win the war somehow. You guys will probably head straight home when it’s all over with, anyways.”

Her brother was quiet as he absorbed all of this.

“Still though,” Sokka said kindly. “Any time spent together is better than none. Remember in the play, how Princess Yue turned into the Moon Spirit?”

“Yeah. Sorry for um, being less than understanding when you first told me…”

“Nah, it’s okay, I didn’t exactly elaborate. But anyways, even though I only got to know her for a short time, I’ll never forget her. I mean, I love Suki with my whole heart and could totally see myself marrying her one day… but I wouldn’t trade my time with Yue for anything.”

Zuko was silent for a few minutes.

“Sometimes it’s not about how long you’re with someone,” Sokka added. “Sometimes it’s about making the most of the time you’ve been given. Besides, some people love more in a few years, months, or even days than others do in their whole lives. That’s what I would tell Katara, if she could hear me now.”

Once again Zuko was quiet, as if in deep thought.

“Seriously buddy, you should try to get some sleep,” Sokka said. “At least lie down and rest.”

She heard the prince agree and thank him, and Appa once more slowed as she heard Zuko carefully crawl back into the saddle nearby.

Katara waited until she heard him settle down before she quietly rolled over to face his direction.

He was on his side turned away from her, and soon she heard his breathing slow as he fell asleep.

If he had been facing her, she would have reached out and held his hand… but apparently she had missed her chance.

She sighed quietly and rolled away, finally letting a few tears fall.

~*~*~

Katara made sure she didn’t miss her next chance.

The following night, they finally landed outside of Ba Sing Se and set up camp. Her brother and Suki curled up together on Appa’s tail, and Toph bended herself a small stone shelter nearby.

Zuko stretched out on one of the bison’s massive legs, and Katara seized her opportunity.

She walked softly through the grass and stopped just a few feet away from him. He looked up at her in surprise.

“Hi,” she squeaked out.

She instantly forgot everything she’d been about to say.

“Hey,” he replied cautiously, looking up at her curiously.

The silence seemed to stretch on forever before she finally worked up the nerve to speak. 

“Is it okay if I…”

“Oh yeah, sure, be my guest.”

Katara nodded and settled down on her back, folding her hands on top of her stomach. Zuko also laid on his back, his hands tucked under his neck.

Together they gazed up at the stars in silence, and it was almost peaceful.

“I’m sorry.”

He looked over at her and smiled sadly.

“Katara… I already told you, you have nothing to apologize for.”

“Still, though.”

“Katara,” he said patiently, as if this was something she should have figured out by now. “You don’t have to apologize or take responsibility for everything, least of all someone else’s feelings. It’s okay.”

She hesitated before laying her hand closest to him by her side, just in case.

Something told her that he wouldn’t pick up on the hint, that he’d just refuse even if he did…

Then she felt his warm, calloused hand take hold of hers and gently squeeze it, and she wanted to cry.

“You asked the morning after if I regretted it,” she whispered shakily into the night sky, “and I don’t. I...I thought you should know that I don’t regret a single moment of that night. But I’m sorry that you got hurt.”

She heard him let out a deep, unsteady breath. 

“Good, um, that’s good,” he mumbled. “I don’t regret it either. And if you don’t want to see me ever again when this is all over, you won’t have to.”

The thought made her heart physically hurt, although she didn’t know why. 

“I don’t want that,” she said, turning her head to look at him, and he did the same. “I still don’t know what I want, but I know that’s not it.”

He seemed comforted by that admission, although his smile didn’t reach his eyes.

She took a deep breath to steady her pounding heart.

“Zuko… I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next day or so.”

“Neither do I.”

“We could… we could actually die, or we could lose and be tortured into insanity or locked away forever or something.”

“If this is your way of lulling someone to sleep, Katara, I’ve got to say, it’s going to need some work.”

She giggled in spite of herself, and he grinned slightly.

“I don’t know what’s in store for us but... I meant what I said. I’m really happy that I met you, and even if we go our separate ways... I’ll never forget you. Ever. You’ll always have a place in my heart.”

He smiled again, and this time his eyes crinkled up. 

“Me too,” he murmured. “There’s a lot that I regret and a lot of things I wish I could do over... but not that night. I’ll always care about you, Katara, and if you ever change your mind...” 

He shrugged and gave her another smile, and this one was tinged with sadness.

“Well, you know. I’ll wait as long as I have to, unless you decide otherwise. I’m just grateful for the time I spent with you, no matter how short it was.”

With that, he lifted her hand to his mouth and delicately pressed his warm lips to the back of it for a few moments. 

Then he let her go and gave her a reassuring wink. 

“Good night,” he whispered before rolling on his side away from her. 

“Sweet dreams,” she whispered.

She eventually followed suit, turning away from him as well and closed her eyes as she broke out into a tiny smile. 

Katara still didn’t know what she wanted or if they’d even see each other again once it was all over.  
  
In this moment, this was the only thing she needed or could ask for, just the two of them together, even if it was only for one more night.

~*~*~

Yet when she dreamed, it was of a lifetime of her blissfully married to Zuko, and she even saw a bright-eyed baby that had to be theirs. 

Katara watched as in her dream, he cradled their child in his arms under the light of the full moon, whispering words of comfort to help lull their infant back to sleep.

Then Katara saw her arms wrapped around her husband and their child, smiling as she held them both, with moonlight in her hands.

And they just seemed so happy and content and peaceful together as a small little family, like nothing could tear them apart...

But then she awoke with a start as Toph cried out a warning that they had company, and she forgot all about her dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who’s commented and left Kudos for this story! I wanted things to end on a slightly more optimistic note, especially after that cliffhanger in the previous chapter.
> 
> I’m currently working on a sequel that covers the big reveal and fallout, and hopefully that should be out in the near future.
> 
> Thanks again for reading! ❤️


End file.
